Self-Care for Highly Sensitive People (HSP)

Many years ago, I booked a short break to Cairo. You would think that the first thing I’d check was… that my passport was in date.

Actually, it was only three days before we went that I realised that my passport had less than six months to expiry and I wouldn’t get a visa.

I ended up with an emergency dash to Peterborough Passport Office, where I spent the whole day waiting in an endless queue for my new passport, followed by a motorbike courier taking the passport to the Egyptian Embassy the day after.

It was stressful, and I was a mess!

How is This Relevant to Self-Care for HSP?

Self-care advice is all over social media at the moment; and in this often chaotic and overwhelming world, can be very useful.

Finding out that you might be HSP (read Highly Sensitive Person- Am I One? if you’re not sure) means that you might need to look at self-care a little differently to our non-HSP friends.

I had been overwhelmed by all the things I had to do in order to be ready to go away. I was nervous about going to Egypt, somewhere I’d never been before and I shut down. HSP are well known for procrastination. Unfortunately, my procrastination meant that we almost didn’t get to go on holiday.

Self-Care, What Does That Actually Mean?

It is what it says on the tin! Anything that helps you care for yourself can be labelled self-care, but often the suggestions can be ‘quick fixes’, and miss the deeper meaning. I’m all for bubble baths and scented candles (who isn’t), but sometimes caring for yourself means making sure there’s enough fuel in your car, or booking yourself in for a dental appointment (or checking your passport). These things aren’t so ‘sexy’ but they are an essential part of making sure our needs are met.

Why is Self-Care Especially Important for HSP?

Highly Sensitive People use up huge amounts of energy by processing sensory input from the world around, so it’s easy for us to become overwhelmed. Add to that a caring and empathic nature, and HSPs can easily find themselves burnt out through social/family/work interactions.

If you’re an HSP who’s looking ahead to a lot of time at home with family or others in the coming season, you might be feeling frazzled right now.

When I was a young child, my parents always made me have a nap if we were going out that evening (I never did nap, but certainly had some ‘down-time’), because they knew how ratty and tearful I could get when I was tired. The difficulty as adults is that we have to recognise that for ourselves, and put things in place to support our needs, (so I’ll finish writing this after my nap!) Do you put ‘down-time’ in your diary, as you might other appointments that are important? Are you able to protect that time from being overtaken by other things?

What Does HSP Self-Care Look Like?

The first place to start is to become an expert on you, and how you function best.

• How many hours can you stand at a party before you feel like you want to escape?

• What constitutes a good night’s sleep?

• When are the best times for you to eat so you don’t get ‘hangry’?

• Who feeds your soul and who saps your energy?

• How much silent/solo time do you need each day to function best (some suggest up to two hours a day is needed)?

The list of questions could go on, but really, the key is to know what makes you function best; and then factor in your needs to your self-care planning (yes, planning can be fun).

Planning HSP Self-Care

Routines are really useful for HSP, because they become automatic and you don’t need to expend extra energy thinking about them every day.

Start with the basics. Food, sleep and rest, water, exercise and connection.

Some examples might be…

• Make a two week meal plan with a shopping list, that you repeat, so you know, “It’s Tuesday, so it’s lasagna”

• Get a water bottle with a counter, so you can check that you’re drinking enough (use it to fill the kettle if you don’t only drink plain water)

• Go to a weekly exercise class, or walk to your daily activities

• Go to bed at the same time every night, after the same wind-down routine, and get up at the same time, even at the weekends.

Then add in routines for administration. Some examples might be…

• Have your bills paid by direct debit on a monthly basis

• Use the ‘repeat’ function on your calendar to remind yourself of yearly healthcare appointments

And add in routines for social and leisure time…

• Make a weekly date with a friend

• Spend some time in nature each week

• Listen to music that makes your heart sing

• Give yourself time before a busy social occasion to recharge your batteries before you start

• And give yourself time after interactions to decompress and wind down

What about Therapy?

Sometimes, we need extra help. Therapy can be a valuable part of self-care (which is why therapists also have therapy); a space where you can safely explore all that’s going on in your life, so you can begin to put in place all the things that make your life feel better for you.

If anything in this blog has resonated with you, why not get in touch by WhatsApp message 0034 654065721 or email Helen@lazuli.es to book your first session.